i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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