about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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