I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize