ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
