I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So vagazzling was a success
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
