dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
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There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
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Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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