I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
