And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
