and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
