You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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