my vag is so smooth its legendary
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
