I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
