it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
