I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
