ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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