i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Farmville is her only friend.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
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Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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