the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she looked like the before picture.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
