He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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