Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
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