Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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