I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
