So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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