If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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