I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
