yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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