Your tits are I can't wait for
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
