I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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