he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
