i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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