I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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