"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
