we have officially lost it.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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