Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  are we going to glenview for practice??

  (847): View more from Illinois

  (3 hrs later) aids

  (248): View more from Michigan

  where r u? what is story? im way too high right now

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  (248): are we going to glenview for practice?? (847): (3 hrs later) aids (248): where r u? what is story? im way too high right now http://tfl.nu/h122
  Replies (5) Good night (1221) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  her nipple to breast ratio was just odd

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  (386): her nipple to breast ratio was just odd http://tfl.nu/o8uo
  Replies (20) Good night (916) Bad night (3483)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."

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  (404): My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America." http://tfl.nu/2jbp
  Replies (24) Good night (6704) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?

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  (972): Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama? http://tfl.nu/w817
  Replies (11) Good night (5189) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.

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  (724): I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that. http://tfl.nu/ze20
  Replies (22) Good night (4148) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school

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  (954): It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school http://tfl.nu/yqnn
  Replies (27) Good night (5268) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore

  (209): View more from California

  You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?

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  (574): So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore (209): You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect? http://tfl.nu/4y0y
  Replies (20) Good night (1251) Bad night (4051)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.

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  (217): Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls. http://tfl.nu/z40q
  Replies (16) Good night (4453) Bad night (1189)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.

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  (574): Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things. http://tfl.nu/zj1a
  Replies (6) Good night (2942) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me

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  (330): I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me http://tfl.nu/zsgz
  Replies (2) Good night (1135) Bad night (1853)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...

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  (763): My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home... http://tfl.nu/n3b5
  Replies (3) Good night (1628) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album

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  (313): He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album http://tfl.nu/c2eb
  Replies (0) Good night (598) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.

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  (330): If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest. http://tfl.nu/8ghs
  Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.

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  (731): He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever. http://tfl.nu/ca2r
  Replies (3) Good night (1094) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.

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  (214): So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot. http://tfl.nu/cnna
  Replies (1) Good night (206) Bad night (493)

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