Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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