let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
