tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
