Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i love accidental penises.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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