I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm just crazy horny about you
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
