Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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