Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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