her vagine was all disorganized.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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