she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
