Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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