So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
