This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
