don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
