You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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