i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
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His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
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you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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