Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
