Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
