no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
