Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Randomize
