it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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