the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
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I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
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I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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