i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
