he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
