Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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