Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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