i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
