dude i'm inner monologue high
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
