I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
high people should be assigned attendants
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
