piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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