I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
