She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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