So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
